Snapshots from a Life

In his autobiographical books, retired Rabbi Lionel Blue who died at the end of December 2016, is very frank about his emotional state being fragile, about not being ‘wired up right’. At the end of one of the books, he writes of his liberating spiritual experience and the inner freedom it left him with. He ends the book with a question to himself: “I wished I knew what to do with it.”

When I first read this, I wrote him a post card: “Perhaps we are simply to be where we are with that inner freedom?”
Some 10 years on, I realise that I, too, may not be content with simply being there: Like Lionel Blue, I may have a drive to write about that which can ultimately not be put in words, find stories and images to tell about it.

There are several strands to my reflection on my life themes:
Foremost is the description of survival on high sensitivity and a load of paradoxes, out of an upbringing of emotional abuse and alienation.
Then there is the theme of a spiritual awakening, layered as it were, as it is called in 12-step groups, and finally for now, there is the paradox of living initiation utilising the structure philosophy of religion provided, yet being at home – far beyond religion.

In the midst of an ordinary involved life, although framed now by a solitary life style as far as possible, I do not claim any grand personal gifts or achievements, and I remain only too aware of most of my paradoxes, shortcomings and oddities. And that is putting it mildly.
My posts are snippets of a work-in-progress, working title “Four Corners of the World to hold on to” –

All pages and blog entries:
(c) Barbara S, Nottingham, UK 2015, 2016, 2017

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5 Responses to “Snapshots from a Life”

  1. Readers will notice that blog entries carry my own comments. I have borrowed that technique from the Zen tradtion: Koans, samples of deep paradoxes in life presented to students, gather these layers of comments by generations of masters. I have no teacher and I am no master.

  2. Encouraged, by my favorite blogger Sarah K Reece and one other friend, I am launching my own blog for public view and feedback (I hope): It has been growing hidden from view, for some 3 years now – born out of the sitting-in-silence at the foot of Cader Idris over 10 years ago.

  3. I’ve enjoyed reading this and your comments as this has provoked deep waters within me and about writing and sharing my own “snapshots from life.” Indeed, as well…. “I have no teacher and I am no master.” I will be returning when time permits to read more of your blog, Barbara.

    • How very good to hear from you Anna. I hope you come back and enjoy more, from the depths of the blog, as it were. Writing seems to link the the contemplative and the active sides – and publishing, mmh – puts the balance at risk? Sharing, however, puts it back into place, in a higher order.
      Barbara

  4. Rabbi Lionel Blue passed away last Sunday. He recorded his own obituary on BBC Radio 4 where he ad been well-known and loved for his quiry ‘Thought for the Day’ contributions. RIP buddy.

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