Snapshots from a Life
In his autobiographical books, retired Rabbi Lionel Blue who died at the end of December 2016, is very frank about his emotional state being fragile, about not being ‘wired up right’. At the end of one of the books, he writes of his liberating spiritual experience and the inner freedom it left him with. He ends the book with a question to himself: “I wished I knew what to do with it.”
When I first read this, I wrote him a post card: “Perhaps we are simply to be where we are with that inner freedom?”
Some 10 years on, I realise that I, too, may not be content with simply being there: Like Lionel Blue, I may have a drive to write about that which can ultimately not be put in words, find stories and images to tell about it.
There are several strands to my reflection on my life themes:
Foremost is the description of survival on high sensitivity and a load of paradoxes, out of an upbringing of emotional abuse and alienation.
Then there is the theme of a spiritual awakening, layered as it were, as it is called in 12-step groups, and finally for now, there is the paradox of living initiation utilising the structure philosophy of religion provided, yet being at home – far beyond religion.
In the midst of an ordinary involved life, although framed now by a solitary life style as far as possible, I do not claim any grand personal gifts or achievements, and I remain only too aware of most of my paradoxes, shortcomings and oddities. And that is putting it mildly.
My posts are snippets of a work-in-progress, working title “Four Corners of the World to hold on to” –
All pages and blog entries:
(c) Barbara S, Nottingham, UK 2015, 2016