gone the grief of 45 years

presence unfulfilled

now the grief

over a fulfilled absence


45, according to one model of Jewish numerology means redemption from insult; I am agnostic as far as that concept is concerned; while 45 years play a significant role; the last contact with my parents was rather 36 years ago. The significance of 36 in numerology is twice 18=life.

6 – the number of years it took the Court to find me = 2×3 – the numbers for female and male.

As an agnostic I find the concept fascinating from a distance. Working through a wave of grief over mother-in-me (my own destructive side), I find it helpful to give my mind something to work with that does not clutter and glue shut the mind as religious concepts tend to do but – opens it into mystery.


~ by Barbara S on August 20, 2022.

One Response to “peculiar”

  1. *hug*

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