Beyond me

After 2 weeks of putting it off, today it is time to face the legal paper work I need to respond to. The Court can’t cope with an unrepresented litigant any more than the unrepresented litigant can cope with the process. In my case at the heart of the matter are defamation, breach of employment law and concerns for patient safety.

The process is mightily complex, and the Court running a reduced service does not help. They have lost all my paper work submitted early in 2020 (yes, that year) and are now asking me to re-submit, asking the wrong questions where I don’t even know the answer to the right ones.

But today is the day to tackle it. I focus on what I know and put down 9 bullet points why they are being unreasonable. I feel my brain has got a small spot of clarity inside, but around that is a mass that might seize at any moment, wrapped in a layer of mush.

Eventually I stop. Is now the point to give up? If that is the way they treat me now, I’ll never get a fair trial anyway…

No. If I give up, then not like this. I know what happened. I was there. What gets to me are just technicalities…

And then it dawns on me – the Court has not even considered a whole lot of files I sent them via dropbox.

The light pervades, I am not having a seizure. I can do this. I compile a tenth bullet point and decide not to refer to the fact that I did not in drop box mention the case nr – they are getting my email with the case nr, so they can very well log the files and folders correctly at their end. Fair process or not –

david versus goliath

no guarantees, dark of the night –

reminded: a vow made me

Did I mention my case is against the Government for failing to protect me from breaches of the law?


d’Verse ‘Haibun Monday’Theme: ‘Fear’

At d’Verse, poets were challenged to write haibuns with the theme of ‘fear’.


New to Haibun? Write a paragraph or more of prose, or prose poetry, then follow it with a haiku—one that includes a season word, and juxtaposes two disparate images that, when paired, give us that “aha!” experience.

~ by Barbara S on October 25, 2021.

21 Responses to “Beyond me”

  1. I get the frustration and annoyance clearly. Nice haibun. Very expressive


  2. Forms are frightening as well as the legal system. I can empathize with these feelings. Thanks for sharing, Barbara.

  3. The haibun’s realism captures its oppressive, Kafka-esque quality. Fighting for justice against the “goliath” of big business or government is frightening. I’m rooting for David though, “Fair process or not –.”

  4. A lot of jumping through hoops and now they’ve lit them on fire! It is often a tactic to wear the litigant down so that they do just give up. Stay strong and resolute!

    • thank you; I will as long as I keep my inner freedom, able to analyse w, in an existential sense and share. Thanks Muri,hat’s happening with a distance and always reflecting back on everything as a learning curve for me because I CAN learn from it

      • Muri, you get what I am saying – I fear my keyboard/in-built mouse have gone wonky on me in this laptop after 5+ yrs 🙄

      • I understand completely. Maintaining that inner calm is essential not only for your mental well-being but every sniper knows that a calm heart allows for perfect aim! So the process moves forward and you move with it yet independent of it…

  5. good luck, Barbara – I believe in you!


  6. The unrepresented litigant must never give up. What courage.

  7. A testimony to the fear and frustration any of us face when confronted with legal proceedings. Eloquently conveyed!

  8. This is the perfect “case making” Haibun …. beautifully composed. Cheers, here’s to YOU.

    • thank you very much – I did not know there was such a thing as a type of haibun of case-making – can you tell me more? Thanks again.

  9. Very Kafkaeish … to be stuck in this endless process. I hope you can get it right.

    • thank you; I hope I can make the right connections and raise the right points as I have just listened to in George Monbiot’s talk: Survival required disobedience.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: