subconscious anxieties

at my current holiday location, I had been to see an acupuncturist doctor, with high accreditation, about 10 years younger than myself – in the hope she might find a way to reduce some of my physical symptoms of what appears to be exhaustion, but, to be honest, may as well be depression or being overwhelmed… I found her attractive as a professional, if somewhat distracted.

Reflecting on the latter after the consultation, I realised I could not in good conscience allow myself to be treated by her without discussing some of these points: I am too old to deny my intuitive question marks.

After I sent her a polite email with my questions, she responded – graciously, almost with good humour, with a telephone message from one of her assistants who was so embarrassed that she almost could not get the words out: The Doctor felt she had to take some more training first (before treating me) and was therefore cancelling my sessions arranged during the initial consultation.

That is a professional response I take my hat off to. The outcome on reflection for me clearly was: I have the tools, I need to treat my own symptoms, for crying out loud.

I settled on some acupressure as demonstrated on youtube, some hypnosis for ‘subconscious anxieties’; (the title, quite intriguing when you think of it) I came across at the same place together with renewed quiet chi gong ‘Tree’ exercise standing opposite the practitioner on the screen, as it were).

At my second attempt today to use the audio for the hypnosis, I fell asleep after a few minutes and when I woke half an hour later thought the recording must have finished. It hadn’t but had been interrupted halfway through due to temporary loss of wifi. Something inside clearly felt lighter. Placebo? Probably.

I listened to the rest of the recording sitting up, relaxed but not fully hypnotised and realised I had a good find, some simple technique and without guided imagery (which is NOT my cup of tea).

So I set to work. And go for cycling tours along the rhine valley or into Bonn proper which bring my daily pedometer count up to more than ‘low activity’. More than a full week to spend here.

Reframing aches and pains

aha – learning my strength

all over again,still learning

Almost without noticing, certainly without blame, I have made myself more aware of my autistic traits, mostly the strengths.


~ by Barbara S on August 17, 2021.

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