accountable?

my daily log contains my commitment to take 4 steps daily / commit to /practice

• honesty
• gratitude
• serenity
• centering prayer

and, as they say in AA ‘I may not always adhere to it, but I have it’, the plan that is. Sometimes I have to shake things up, think of something different to do. For a while I made a list of points I am grateful for. Right now I listen to a folksy children’s song from around 1968 that meant a lot to me as an adolescent;

serenity prayer is the core part of the maintenance phase of any 12-step-program

with reflections on each verse, you find it here:

Understanding the Serenity Prayer for Recovery

I am not exactly crossing my fingers behind my back when I say it to myself, but I add the caveat – to make sure I don’t list things as unchangeable I CAN do something about, even if not a lot.

But sometimes that may not be enough to avoid slipping into a depressive slump. Today, I had to firmly put myself in the frame of presenting, making present, the one anchor I cannot deny or forget without betraying myself. –

I have in a Court Hearing once referred to a conscientious decision of mine as similar to being under oath – a higher awareness of something that cannot be denied. –

I have lapsed for a while now on the meditation side, for reasons I don’t want to go into. What I do maintain is a 10′ practice of finger yoga (mudras) while watching TV at night. Sometimes I do that twice. At least, that way, I do keep the commitment alive. And at least one zoom meditation meeting per week, my favourite one.

practice of sweeping

the hut – traveller leaves

daily*

—

* a Basho-themed haiku

For some time now, I have taken my morning posts here as affirming my commitment to honesty – even if they are short poems and deal with other things, they affirm that I reflect, against the backdrop of my best-can-be.

owl I have missed you

almost today

being quiet

• To put my self reflection in context, please visit my page ‘Living Unconditionally’

~ by Barbara S on July 23, 2021.