From the start, one of my life’s big queries has been: WHAT IS it that gives me that sense of meaning, love and hope – beyond anxiety, being bullied, a family atmosphere, as I now know dominated by unsuitability of the two adult characters and family secrets. And, now out of denial, how do I conceive survival of emotional abuse with a very high sensitivity?
I read voraciously as a youngster, before my time, Herman Hesse, of course when I was no more than 14; Arno Plack when I was 16. There was a glimpse of hope in everything, whereas Mitscherlich pulled me back by what felt like a regressive approach to life, into my own neuroticism. Yet, I was not trying to find meaning, I was looking for resonance.
The theme changed when I began to find again and recognise my spirituality, and began to investigate religion, to explore how I position myself with regards to that realm.
One of the answers that proved to open so many new questions I found: Those moments of clarity and insight I logged were nothing static, not to be held on to, yet they created a wide space of a resonance far beyond what I had been hoping for.
Thirdly, and connected to the previous aspects, while I love philosophical reflection – it has to be practical to be meaningful. So the question for this project became: How can I narrate generic themes of spirituality beyond religion, through my own story?
Finally, in the process of writing I am also again dealing with the residue of not being comfortable in my own skin. This has led through my whole life to eccentricities and some willful departures into what was not good for me and others. I may or may not become more settled as I age.
If it is right we teach what we need to learn, I am on task as I am honoured to begin working with offenders, assisting their rehabilitation and their ability to live their hopes, by finding their own resources of love and forgiveness within, beyond religion. (2014)

~ by Barbara S on December 23, 2012.

One Response to “Parameters”

  1. There is a fifth Parameter: To professionals dealing with clients with anxiety or personality disorders I would like to show how deeply the client’s potential to help themselves can be trusted – given the right encouragement, or even just: given time and space. Two of the models how to understand existential crises I have found in Teresa of Avila and John of the Cross. Both lost one parent early and had to overcome considerable difficulties in their lives. Consequently, they worked out how to help others in similar predicament: John through his poetry which does not speak of God and his concept of the Dark Nights of the Soul. Teresa through her concept of the Inner Castle.
    The latter we can perhaps today translate as “levels of consciousness”.
    And, Teresa says, the deepest one can only open “from within”.
    So. allow for aha moments to take effect, allow yourself to be surprised – by your client and – by yourself in working with them.

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